106 Days of Solitude
Life as a single person living alone during Sydney's 2021 lockdown
By Olek Novak
As I sit down to write this article from the same office chair on which I’ve spent most of the past 3 months, I reflect on today’s ‘numbers’ - 106 days in lockdown, 477 new COVID-19 cases in NSW, 75.5% fully vaccinated, and one day until 'Freedom Day'.
The statistics above are just one aspect of our daily existence over the past three months of Sydney’s extended lockdown. For a state that prided itself on its 'gold standard' of avoiding full scale lockdowns, the past 15 weeks have been defined by relentless 11am press conferences, continuously evolving regulations and a seemingly endless conveyor-belt of negative news including freedom protests, east-west division and a State Government implosion.
No one Sydneysider has been left untouched, with everyone experiencing their own set of unique challenges. For me, I’ve been watching it all unfold from my 'single bubble.
Some micro-statistics that have defined my bubble over this time: over a 100 coffees, more than 300 Microsoft Teams meetings for work, three seasons of Schitt’s Creek, five visits from my “bubble buddy”, not nearly enough exercise, and too many Nat’s What I Reckon spaghetti bolognese portions than I dare to count (and yes, I did add milk).
The experiences of those who are single and living alone during Sydney’s lockdown have been varied.
According to the 2016 census, I’m part of the almost 24% of all households in NSW that are “single person households”, representing over 600,000 individuals.
While many individuals may thrive in a solo living arrangement, that can be a very different story during a lockdown. COVID-19 has had an immense impact on mental health in Australia, and unsurprisingly, people living alone are more likely to experience loneliness - no doubt exacerbated by the isolation and stress of lockdown.
When considering the combination of a lockdown and a solo-living situation, the above statistics point to a dark picture. However, reflecting on my own experiences, I’ve found the reality more complex. While lockdown has proved challenging in many ways - the separation from family, the lack of human interaction, the constant state of “languishing”, I can’t deny I’m one of the lucky ones - full-time employment, a loving support network (albeit virtual), many creative pursuits to occupy my time and a solid roof over my head. In fact, the irony of lockdown is that in many ways it has provided me with a rare opportunity for introspection, focus and solitude which I have relished.
I reflect on the fact that it was the original 2020 lockdown which spurred me on to make a life-altering decision of starting a journalism degree that I’d been wanting to do for a long time, and which I’ve continued to juggle with full-time work during the current lockdown.
In some ways, I needed the kick that lockdown provided.
“The creative person is constantly seeking to discover himself, to remodel his own identity, and to find meaning in the universe through what he creates. He finds this a valuable integrating process which, like meditation or prayer, has little to do with other people, but which has its own separate validity. His most significant moments are those in which he attains some new insight, or makes some new discovery; and these moments are chiefly, if not invariably, those in which he is alone.”
- Anthony Storr, Solitude: A Return to the Self
A moment of reflection during one of my many solo bushwalks during lockdown.
Original image
With this in mind, I was inspired to hear how others in similar situations found their solitude.
As we slowly emerge from lockdown, you’re about to travel across three different corners of Sydney to meet three different creatives and see how they have not only met the challenges of lockdown but also grown as people through 106 days of solitude.
Mark Mariano
Blacktown
(Supplied: Mark Mariano)
Jo Lyons
Marrickville
(Supplied: Jo Lyons
Grażyna Witkowska
Cremorne
(Supplied: Grażyna Witkowska
Let's begin our journey with Mark Mariano in Sydney's West
Blacktown lies 34km west of Sydney's CBD. It has a total population of 47,176 according to the 2016 Census, with 18.7% of all households being single or lone person households.
Image: Google Earth
With stricter travel limits and night-time curfews, Blacktown was amongst the suburbs subjected to the harshest restrictions of Sydney’s lockdown.
As a writer and content producer, Mark has maintained a prolific creative output during lockdown. This has included co-writing a theatre production on top of his full time job, and that’s not to mention his active social media presence - in fact, Mark even went viral in the last month of lockdown, with one of his Tik Tok videos currently sitting at over 130,000 likes.
While Mark acknowledges that good things can come from being alone, he also acknowledges the dangers.
“The last 3 months have been so interesting in the sense that so many aspects of my life were put under the lens organically and naturally.
“I think there is an element of danger there in the sense that I could have easily gone into very dangerous conversations with myself or I could have easily gone into conversations that were triggering or that were really just a detriment to my mental health, so in saying that I tried to keep afloat as best as I could.”
“There were moments like even in the middle of the night I would just wake up and be like who am I, what am I doing, what is my purpose in this world, and so I lost a bit of myself but at the same time I think that’s a really important thing to go through. I think that that’s an essential thing. How can you find yourself if you haven’t lost yourself?"
- Mark Mariano
(Supplied: Mark Mariano)
One of Mark’s many creative pursuits during lockdown was a writing course that he attended online. Mark wrote ‘Him & I’ based on an experience he had on the train just before lockdown - listen below.
(Vision & Audio Supplied Separately: Mark Mariano)
31.5 kms south east of Blacktown, lockdown has been a period of upheaval for Jo Lyons in the Inner West suburb of Marrickville
Marrickville lies 7km south-west of Sydney's CBD. It has a total population of 26,592 according to the 2016 Census, with 25.9% of all households being single or lone person households.
Image: Google Earth
Before lockdown began, Jo had been working through her long term plans around whether she’d return to her job after a period of extended leave, not to mention whether she would settle down in Sydney or return to living with her mum on the NSW South Coast.
(Supplied: Jo Lyons)
Ultimately, a car accident and two month delay in repairs meant that Jo was effectively grounded in Sydney and experienced the first two months of lockdown alone in a Marrickville unit that she was house-sitting.
In that time, Jo quit her long-term job and embarked on several new life journeys.
While Jo acknowledged the positives that have come out of lockdown, she also reflected on some of the toughest moments.
The end of July was the 40th anniversary of her dad’s passing and the lockdown had put a stop to a party that the family had planned to commemorate him.
“One of my sister’s suggested we have a Zoom catch up and I was really reluctant because I thought it would be too upsetting to see people and not actually be with them.”
Instead, Jo started to make a chocolate cake that night - one of her dad’s favourites. However, she remembers switching on the evening news and seeing Australian Swimmer Kaylie McKeown interviewed after having just won the hundred metres backstroke.
“She dedicated it to her late father and so I thought ah right, I should probably turn up to this Zoom and it actually was really lovely. We had a great time just reminiscing, telling stories, catching up generally and my brother and I shared photos with everyone that we had of dad and other family photos so that was really great”.
(Vision Supplied: Jo Lyons)
Despite the challenges and frustrations of lockdown, poetry has provided Jo with a medium through which she could funnel her creativity and reflect on her experiences.
“There’s been time to take stock of what’s important and what you really want to do and I’ve had the time and focus to put toward projects that I’ve really wanted to work on for a really long time”.
During lockdown, Jo entered a poetry award, attended various Poetry Zoom groups, and had also been preparing to perform her poetry at the River of Arts Festival in Moruya on the South Coast. With the event cancelled due to lockdown, Jo turned to social media as a means for getting her poetry out into the world.
Poetry also provided an effective method for Jo to document her lockdown experiences. Listen to Jo's introduction and reading of her poem 'Succulent Night Gardener' below.
(Audio & Poem: Jo Lyons)
As well as focusing on her writing, Jo’s passion for nature has been an important coping mechanism. Having managed to return from Marrickville to be with her mother on the South Coast, Jo has now officially also become a qualified WIRES rescue officer during lockdown and has made sure to take time out for her passion for birdwatching.
Across the Harbour Bridge,
15kms north of Marrickville
Grażyna Witkowska has spent lockdown in the lower north shore suburb of Cremorne
Cremorne lies 6km north-east of Sydney's CBD. It has a total population of 11,227 according to the 2016 Census, with 34.4% of all households being single or lone person households - the highest proportion of our three featured suburbs.
Image: Google Earth
Grażyna Witkowska presenting at
her local community radio station
(Supplied: Grażyna Witkowska)
Like Jo, a love of nature and animals is a driving force in Grażyna's life.
As a small business owner who also takes care of her mother, lockdown has presented both challenge and opportunity for Grażyna.
While her business has been significantly impacted by the lockdown, Grażyna has relished the opportunity to share her passion for animals through the written word.
“I believe that we are not looking after animals well enough and it’s difficult when we’re locked in to keep raising that issue but it’s possible then to write blogs, to write books, and these can then influence people.”
Her book, titled Uncommon Friends, is partly a ‘how to’ guide and partly a philosophical memoir reflecting on what we can learn from chickens.
(Book Fragment & Reading Supplied: Grażyna Witkowska, 'Uncommon Friends')
Grażyna will soon have a tangible printed copy of what she’s gained from lockdown, but apart from finishing her book, spending more time with her mum and her animals, there is still more that she has gained from this time of solitude.
“What else have I gained? Appreciation of me, of how much support I can be to myself.”
- Grażyna Witkowska
106 days of solitude is now over and Sydney is transitioning out of lockdown.
It's been a challenging and varied experience for all of us and that’s no different for Mark, Jo and Grażyna.
What they have shown is that despite the many challenges, a duality can exist. 106 days of solitude can simultaneously provide us with a kick in the guts at the same time as providing us with a kick we need.
Having completed our journey across Sydney, let’s finish off by returning to where we first began.
With excitement building for Mark to be able to see his family at the end of lockdown, Mark offers the following advice for anyone experiencing a lockdown by themselves.
If you or someone you know needs help you can call:
Lifeline 13 11 14
Beyond Blue 1300 224 636
Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467
Headspace 1800 650 890
QLife 1800 184 527
Relationships Australia 1300 364 277
Chris Cheers is an Australian psychologist specialising in providing services to artists, creatives and the LGBTIQ+ community. You can view a range of helpful resources here, including this page directed specifically at the arts community.